
Who Goes There?
Miles J. Breuer was born in Chicago in 1889, to Czech immigrants. It’s worth noting that quite a few people involved in the early days of Amazing Stories were either immigrants (Hugo Gernsback was from Luxemburg, Frank R. Paul from what was then the Austro-Hungarian empire) or the children of immigrants. Breuer even wrote for Czech-language publications in the US. But first and foremost he worked to become a medical doctor, earning his MD (a degree that got stapled to his name in bylines) and running an office alongside his father. During the not quite two years America was involved in World War I, Breuer went to France as part of the Army Medical Corpse, where presumably he would’ve encountered in soldiers what soon became known as shell shock. Once the war ended he returned home and once again became a regular physician. Breuer didn’t start writing science fiction until nearly a decade after the war’s end, and even then he didn’t write much SF: only one solo novel, plus a couple dozen or so short stories. It’s clear that writing SF was just a side gig for him, as he had a demanding but well-paying day job. He wrote most of these stories in the late ’20s and early ’30s, before dying at just 56 in 1945.
“The Gostak and the Doshes” might be Breuer’s most reprinted story, and with good reason. This is a bit of a rough gem. It’s the finest story I’ve reviewed this month so far. It’s pretty clearly inspired by H. G. Wells, who after all appeared regularly in Amazing Stories and whose work served as a template for the kind of SF Gernsback wanted to print. This is a story about language, being one of the very first American SF stories to tackle linguistics, but it’s also about the frequent meaninglessness of war, having been written in the wake of America’s pointless involvement in WWI. The point Breuer makes is unfortunately still relevant.
Placing Coordinates
First published in the March 1930 issue of Amazing Stories. It’s since been reprinted in Avon Fantasy Reader No. 10 (ed. Donald Wollheim), Science Fiction Adventures in Dimension (ed. Groff Conklin), Great Science Fiction by Scientists (ed. Groff Conklin), The Arbor House Treasury of Science Fiction Masterpieces (ed. Martin H. Greenberg and Robert Silverberg), Amazing Stories: 60 Years of the Best Science Fiction (ed. Isaac Asimov and Martin H. Greenberg), and A Sense of Wonder: A Century of Science Fiction (ed. Leigh Ronald Grossman). Since it’s in the public domain you can also find it on Project Gutenberg and Wikisource.
Enhancing Image
“The Gostak and the Doshes” is a parallel-universe story rooted in subjectivity and language, in which one is able to traverse between universes along a fourth axis. A recurring phrase that will become very relevant here is the nonsensical sentence “The gostak distims the doshes.” You may be thinking, “What’s a gostak? What the hell is a dosh? What does it mean to ‘distim’ something?” The narrator of Breuer’s story wonders the same thing. I was surprised to find this is not a sentence of Breuer’s invention, and that the book he cites at the beginning was a real book on linguistics: The Meaning of Meaning, by Charles Kay Ogden and Ivor Armstrong Richards, published in 1923. The quote actually comes from Andrew Ingraham, who’s uncredited in the story, and the saying goes like this:
Let the reader suppose that somebody states: “The gostak distims the doshes.” You do not know what this means, nor do I. But if we assume that it is English, we know that the doshes are distimmed by the gostak. We know that one distimmer of the doshes is a gostak. If, moreover, doshes are galloons, we know that some galloons are distimmed by the gostak. And so we may go on, and so we often do go on.
The idea is that while we can infer the syntax of a sentence, the subject, object, etc., this does not bring us any closer to the inherent meanings of the words included. You can say “The gastok distims the doshes” or “The doshes are distimmed by the gastok,” but you still won’t know what the hell it means. Indeed, these are made-up words. Words lacking a definition we can attribute to them, or a picture we can point to, sounds like a bit of a stretch, but remember that the flavor-of-the-month “6 7” joke does not seem to have an origin or inherent meaning either. It sort of just is. This is something the narrator finds out the hard way.
Anyway, the narrator (I don’t recall us getting his name) is a college professor who’s chatting with Woleshensky, an eccentric colleague. Woleshensky has a hypothesis that has to do with being able to travel across universe, or rather to make it so that our universe appears fundamentally different to us, by toying with what he calls the x, y, z and t axes. The t axis in particular will prove useful for this purpose, replacing the z axis with it. The trick is not to change the universe around us, but our perception of it. It boils down to a way of thinking. The introductory scene in which Woleshensky lectures his friend on his hypothesis is a bit long-winded, but it’s necessary to set this all up so that we can get to the good stuff.
Our hapless protagonist decides to put Woleshensky’s idea to the test, which it turns out isn’t even that hard to do. This dimension-hopping would be called an example of psi powers, had “The Gostak and the Doshes” been published a decade later. In the blink of an eye the narrator finds himself in a different college campus, which seems recognizable enough, except that the architecture is said to be of Victorian rather than modern design. (I assume “modern” by 1920s standards.) Everything seems to have gotten more dated, as if the narrator had gone back in time a few decades; but no, this still looks like the present day, just different. Luckily, to the point where it does strain plausibility a bit, it’s easy for him to find someone who speaks perfectly good English, and just as quickly to find a professor on-site who manages to take his problem seriously. Viben is this universe’s equivalent of Woleshensky, and he becomes the narrator’s biggest ally on this side of the dimension shenanigans. The problem is simple: How the hell does the narrator get back to where he belongs?
It takes him several months to even begin answering that question. Life in this alternate universe is too good for him. Not only does he make a few friends, including John, a young man working in life insurance, but he even lands a job on the campus where he had arrived rather easily. He notes that society here is maybe more similar than different from where he had come from, although there’s an “old-fashioned” sensibility about everything. There are automobiles, but horses have not yet gone out of fashion, and even John, a well-paid man, drives “a little squat car with tall wheels, run by a spluttering gasoline motor.” It’s possible this is a version of early 20th century America where Henry Ford hadn’t revolutionized the auto industry. The Model T is never mentioned, and presumably doesn’t exist here. From what we’re told this seems like if the Gilded Age of the 1890s lasted longer than it did in our universe—for both good and ill. For someone with a conservative (in the sense of not liking systemic change) sensibility, like our narrator seems to have, this all sounds well and good.
But that sentence said at the beginning, “The gostak distims the doshes,” comes back, this time in big bold letters. The narrator hears it first on campus, and then when he’s having dinner with John and his family the young man exclaims it like a slogan that’s gotten stuck in his head. A newspaper headline reads, “THE GOSTAK DISTIMS THE DOSHES.” The narrator can gather from contaxt that this sentence is meant to inspire patriotic fervor, something pro-American, or conversely as a declaration of aggression against a perceived enemy. Patriotic pro-war slogans were not a new phenomenon, even at the time Breuer wrote this story. The German military, from the time before Germany became a unified country up until the time of the Nazis, had “Gott mit uns” as a slogan. “God is with us.” Italy had also by this point succumbed to fascism under Mussolini. Even in the supposedly democratic US, support for the war effort in WWI was mandated by the federal government. But whereas “Gott mit uns” has a discernable meaning, “The gostak distims the doshes” does not. Nobody can explain to the narrator what these words mean.
There Be Spoilers Here
War is looking to be on the rise, and then it happens. Perhaps deliberately the details of this war are kept vague, except it has to do with fighting in Europe. Why the US entered this war is never made clear, only that “The gostak distims the doshes” catches like wildfire and becomes a battle cry for patriotic young men like John. Despite his comfy day job, John goes off to the front, where he’s declared MIA—presumably killed in action. (In WWI, so many bodies of the dead were never recovered. Rudyard Kipling came up with a phrase to be used on the gravestones of these unnamed soldiers: “Known unto God.” His own son had been killed in the war.) Eventually the military runs low on enlistments and more people get draft notices, including the narrator, who very much is not the fighting type. It’s less his opposition to war generally and more the fact that he literally cannot gather the reason for why the US has started this war.
As he says:
There seemed to be no adequate cause for a war. The huge and powerful nation had dreamed a silly slogan and flung it in the world’s face. A group of nations across the water had united into an alliance, claiming they had to defend themselves against having forced upon them a principle they did not desire. The whole thing at the bottom had no meaning. It did not seem possible that there would actually be a war; it seemed more like going through a lot of elaborate play-acting.
What follows is an exaggerated version of what really happened to anti-war protesters during WWI. The narrator rejects his draft call, claiming to be a conscientious objector, but the government, while normally reserving jail time for such an “offense,” goes a step farther and subjects the narrator to a kangaroo court. The verdict? Execution. It’s only by repeating what he did to get to this alternate universe in the first place, replacing the z axis with the t axis and forcing a change in perspective, that the narrator’s able to avert this fate, and at the last minute! To think he narrowly avoided dying for a war whose meaning he literally couldn’t grasp. In a bit of humor at the very end, Woleshensky seems nonplussed about his friend’s miraculous near-death experience. Well, it’s a happy ending.
A Step Farther Out
Recently the US started an air war against Iran, in collaboration with Israel, under the pretext of regime change and nation building. This war may or may not escalate into sending boots on the ground, but regardless it’s a war wherein the Iranian government (what’s left of it) sees little reason to surrender and a few good reasons not to. It’s a war that didn’t and indeed does not have popular support among American voters, and it all seems to have started thanks to a rogue executive branch and at the behest of Israel, America’s favorite sugar baby. This is all about as absurd as the war the US starts in “The Gostak and the Doshes.” I’m not really sure what Breuer’s politics were, but the story has such an unmistakable anti-war slant that I have to wonder if Breuer would be shaking his head in disappointment if he lived today and saw far we haven’t come in the past century. Even putting the themes aside, I have to recommend this story as a rare piece of Gernsbackian SF that’s still quite fun to read.
See you next time.








