Who Goes There?

Despite living to quite an old age, Sonya Dorman only wrote a couple dozen SF stories, probably because she was more a poet than a writer of short fiction. She appeared in the pre-New Wave ’60s when she was pushing forty, so for those of you who are unsure about trying your luck as a writer at such-and-such an age, don’t be. She was one of the few women to appear in Dangerous Visions, with the story “Go, Go, Go, Said the Bird,” although by far her most reprinted story is “When I Was Miss Dow.” Now, I have read “When I Was Miss Dow” before, and I know I have because it’s in one of the below-mentioned anthologies I’ve read from cover to cover; but if you pointed a gun to my head and told me to recap the plot of this story prior to rereading it, you would have blood on your hands. I was originally gonna review a different Dorman story, “Journey,” but upon reading it one-and-a-half times I found a problem: I had basically nothing to say about it. On the other hand, a reread of “When I Was Miss Dow” was certainly in order, and given that a decent amount has been written about it already, I figured I should throw my hat into the ring. Why not.

Placing Coordinates

First published in the June 1966 issue of Galaxy Science Fiction. It has been reprinted in Nebula Award Stories Number Two (ed. Brian Aldiss and Harry Harrison), SF 12 (ed. Judith Merril), Women of Wonder (ed. Pamela Sargent), The Norton Book of Science Fiction: North American Science Fiction, 1960-1990 (ed. Brian Attebery and Ursula K. Le Guin), and The Future Is Female!: 25 Classic Science Fiction Stories by Women, From Pulp Pioneers to Ursula K. Le Guin (ed. Lisa Yaszek).

Enhancing Image

When I read “Journey” I found myself stuck between a rock and a hard place for a couple days because, frankly, I didn’t know what I could say about it that would justify a whole review around it. Thankfully “When I Was Miss Dow” does not have this issue, being a brief but compact and multifaceted short story that has a few layers to it; that it came pretty close to getting a Nebula nomination is understandable, and actually given that only three stories made the cut that year (not sure why there were so few nominees), some extra space certainly could’ve been made for it. What is the plot, then? Humans have come to some remote planet to form a colony, encountering a sentient race that already lives there—the problem being that said race is a bunch of blobs, single-sexed (apparently all male), and also single-lobed, which is a strange detail. The narrator, who does not have a name, is a young scholar among his people who is given an assignment by his Uncle (with a capital U) and the “Warden of Mines and Seeds” to go undercover as a human woman by the name of Martha Dow. These blobs are not only quite intelligent but also Protean, able to morph into just about any shape one can imagine, which includes mimicking not only the look but even the internal organs of a human being. As Martha Dow the narrator is to work as an assistant to Dr. Arnold Proctor, a gruff middle-aged man and the human colony’s lead biologist. This is the narrator’s first time mimicking a human, which means first time mimicking the human brain’s two lobes. I’m sure that nothing dramatic will happen here.

For being present in only one short story which itself only runs about a dozen pages, the aliens in “When I Was Miss Dow” are lovingly realized. There are few cases, even during the New Wave ’60s, of alien races which are about as intelligent as humans and yet decidedly not humanoid, yet Dorman’s aliens are of a rare sort. Within those dozen pages we’re enlightened as to where they live, how they live, how they reproduce (or rather, how they do not), what social relations they have, what they do for leisure, and of course, how they think. The narrator, who henceforth I’ll refer to as Dow, is used to taking on the likenesses of others, but there’s something very different about this assignment, as it takes little time for the narrator and Dow’s personalities to start merging. This is obviously a story about gender and identity, which for SF in 1966 is actually a novelty; not that it was the first to ever explore these issues from an implicitly feminist perspective, but that its observations on gender and its relationship with one’s self-perception still read as true to the human condition. A lot of stories from the era, and indeed for a while after, that explore gender do so in ways that now read as dated, be it in ways that are misogynistic and/or transphobic. “When I Was Miss Dow” basically doesn’t have this issue. The narrator’s identity crisis is implied to sprout from mimicking Martha Dow’s second lobe, in which the two personalities have a silent tug-of-war match, but other than that the crisis comes down to psychology rather than biology. The biological essentialism that much old-school genderqueer fiction runs into is more or less absent here, as this is ultimately a character study about a “he” who finds that he may not be strictly a “he” after all, but perhaps genderfluid. By using a Protean alien as her case study, Dorman seems to be arguing that gender itself is Protean, in that it is not necessarily fixed in place.

Let’s talk about sexual orientation. Since the aliens seem to reproduce asexually, they aren’t heterosexual or homosexual (or even bisexual) by default, but instead their orientation seems to be influenced by the biological makeup of the beings they mimic. (This is mostly just speculation on my part, so don’t take my word for it.) Dow makes no mention of finding anyone of any sexuality attractive beforehand, but once they meet Dr. Proctor they become smitten with him rather quickly—an attraction that Dr. Proctor is about as quick to reciprocate. Dow, outside of the Martha Dow personality, is male, yet takes on the form of a human woman. Does Dow-the-alien, who is male, find Proctor attractive, or is that more the work of Dow-the-human? It would be hard to argue that this is not in some way a queer romance, although Proctor is blissfully unaware that the woman he’s become smitten with is actually a slimy alien in disguise. Dow themself is unsure about which side of their brain has more power, yet funnily enough they do not question if their attraction to Proctor would be considered gay or straight, or even if it’s taboo somehow. The real problem is that Dow doesn’t know how much control they have over themself, even down to their own thoughts. “I’m suffering from eclipses: one goes dark, the other lights up, that one goes dark, the other goes nova.” I should probably also mention that the prose here is stylish without becoming overbearing, such that it makes sense that Dow normally works as a scholar. There’s a sense of controlled expertise with the English language, which also makes sense since, as you may recall, Dorman seemed to think of herself as more of a poet. There’s a poet’s sensibility about “When I Was Miss Dow” that, unusually for the New Wave era, is balanced by a genuinely compelling narrative.

I do have a couple quibbles, because there is no such thing as a perfect story. (Just to prove my point, Herman Melville’s “Bartleby, the Scrivener” is pretty close to a perfect short story, although I always felt like that last scene at the very end was unnecessary.) For one, it’s awfully convenient that the planet the humans have landed on is pretty Earth-like, and also that the aliens have no issue learning human language. There’s an indigenous animal called a koota that may as well be somewhere between a dog and a horse; we’re only given scant descriptions of it, and I must confess I didn’t find the relationship Dow has with their aging koota to be that compelling. Dorman is of course drawing a parallel between the old koota’s fixed biology and Dow’s ability to shapeshift, along with the fact that Proctor himself is visibly aging; it’s not a subtle parallel, in a story that otherwise thrives on subtlety. I’m also not sure about Proctor having a relationship with Dow, since despite Dow called him a man of “perfect integrity” I’m pretty sure it would be considered sexual harassment (or at least morally dubious) for someone in Proctor’s position to have a romantic/sexual relationship with his assistant. The Warden gives Dow shit over the relationship, but more because of the lack of professionalism on Dow’s part than anything. I gotta tell ya, work culture has changed over the past sixty years.

There Be Spoilers Here

As Dow and Proctor’s relationship progresses, and as the latter teaches the former more about how to live as a human (although he isn’t aware of this), Dow becomes more detached from their original personality. The Martha Dow personality has taken such a strong hold that the narrator feels they might not ever be able to go back. They have long since taken to called Proctor “Arnie” rather than his last or even his first name. They like things as they are a little too much. “If I’m damaged or dead, you’ll put me into the cell banks, and you’ll be amazed, astonished, terrified, to discover that I come out complete, all Martha. I can’t be changed.” Of course, everything has to come to an end. Proctor dies one night, apparently from a heart attack. Natural causes. These things happen. Dow’s way of life is over. She tried bargaining for Proctor to be somehow resurrected with the aliens’ pattern-making chambers, but it’s not possible, and anyway even if it was the higher-ups wouldn’t approve of it. The Warden, who was due for “conjunction” (the aliens’ cycle of death and rebirth) anyway, “dies” and comes out a nephew. At the end, after everything that could be done had been, the narrator reflects that every lifeform, from the humans to the kootas to their own race, has such a cycle of death and rebirth. The narrator lets go of the Dow personality and reverts to their original state, but it’s ambiguous if they’ve totally shaken off what had been, if only temporarily, part of themself. As they say, “I’m becoming somber, and a brilliant student.” What they feel at the end could be considered gender dysphoria, with the reverting to their original state as being analogous to detransitioning. The sad part is that if we are really meant to take the narrator letting go of the Martha identity as detransitioning, then it was clearly a choice not made of their own volition; if they could they would probably stay in that form forever. Martha Dow was a part of them, but they couldn’t keep her.

A Step Farther Out

I didn’t like “Journey” very much partly because I felt like it didn’t give me much to chew on, but also I don’t think it worked as science fiction. Good SF, or at least what Theodore Sturgeon considered good SF (and Sturgeon, like Dorman, had a poet’s gentleness), should present an SFnal problem with a human solution. “Journey” could just as easily have been written as a Western (although the market for literary Westerns basically did not exist in the ’70s), but “When I Was Miss Dow” cannot work as anything other than science fiction. It has some big ideas but is also prone to introspection. It’s, simply put, one of the best SF short stories of the ’60s, and unlike some other favorites of mine from that era I don’t feel the need to put a “this is a bit problematic or outdated” asterisk next to it. I don’t know why it just went in one ear and out the other for me the first time I read it, that was my bad. Please check this one out.

See you next time.