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Novella Review: “Project Nursemaid” by Judith Merril

(Cover by Mel Hunter. F&SF, October 1955.) Who Goes There?
Judith Merril was one of the few female members of the Futurians, that New York-based fan group that would have way too many big names among its ranks. She wrote a couple novels in collaboration with fellow Futurian C. M. Kornbluth, but she’s much more known for her short fiction and work as an editor. Her debut story “That Only a Mother” is one of the most reprinted so-called Golden Age SF stories—really too often reprinted at this point. She was never that prolific a writer, and after 1970 she basically took no part in the field; because she quit SF relatively young her work gives the impression of someone who was restless and, by the end of it, more than a little jaded. Her criticism is well worth reading. I’d been meaning to get more into Merril’s fiction (which is not hard, as there’s not a lot of it), but something would always sidetrack me. But no more!
“Project Nursemaid” might be the most Judith Merril story ever, in both its length and how it encapsulates Merril’s mission statement; it shows off what made her unique at the time as well as her weaknesses. When Algis Budrys called Merril the founder of “the steaming-wet-diaper school of SF,” he was probably thinking of this story specifically. For my money, “Project Nursemaid” is a good story that tragically has been stretched too thin, like a delicious gob of peanut butter over too much bread. It took me several days to get through it, partly because I’ve been sick for the past few days (my tonsils rebelling against me) but partly because you start to feel that length. Also sorry this is a day late; these things happen.
Placing Coordinates
First published in the October 1955 issue of The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction, which is on the Archive. It has only been reprinted a few times. It was anthologized once, in Six Great Short Science Fiction Novels (ed. Groff Conklin). For Merril collections we have Daughters of Earth: Three Novels and Homecalling and Other Stories: The Complete Solo Short SF of Judith Merril. That last one rolls right off the tongue.
Enhancing Image
The plot is simple. In a distant (although not too distant) future, the “world government” wants to colonize the moon. One problem: you can’t take pregnant women to the moon. You can take a fetus in an incubator, but not a pregnant woman. Thus for Project Nursemaid there are two objectives: to gather enough “Pre Natals” (fetuses) and Foster Parents—those who will raise the young on the moon.
MajorColonel Tom Edgerly thus has to find enough would-be mothers who are willing to give up their babies, and even more importantly enough women who are willing to spend a whole year on the moon. The deadlines are strict and the criteria for the women are no less strict. Conveniently Tom is also a trained psychologist, which makes him fit to interview quite a few women in search of those with the right stuff. But, unfortunately, the saying that doctors are bad at taking care of themselves (dentists having bad teeth, for example) holds true here, as Tom will have to answer to some hard truths about himself, and unlike the women who have a psychologist to talk to, Tom’s superiors want results first and foremost. This almost sounds like a recipe for disaster.And that’s basically it!
Looking at the Mel Hunter cover for this issue of F&SF, I assumed the cover illustrated Merril’s story and thus had to do with robots colonizing the moon; we don’t get robots nor do we ever get to see the moon colonization first-hand. If you’re curious to read an SF story about a robot raising human children on another world then I would recommend Vernor Vinge’s “Long Shot.” Overlooked short story, that one. Anyway, technology doessn’t really play a part in “Project Nursemaid” other than as a point of logistics; the tech is feasible, and arguably not even science-fictional from today’s viewpoint, but Merril discusses (at exhausting length) who might be the right people to get involved with such tech. One could make the argument that “Project Nursemaid” is not even really a science fiction story, but pure speculative fiction. What’s the difference? For my money, it has to do with the role technology plays in the character drama and how essoteric said tech is. Maybe in 1955 using incubators to create moon babies was far-out, but not so much in 2024. More importantly, you could replace the colonization project with some other thing—some totally real-life project, like the space race that was just getting started in 1955—and I’m pretty sure the ensuing character drama would be mostly unchanged.
Let me put it another way: Gravity is certainly speculative fiction, in that it speculatives on a what-if scenario of some freak accident marooning some astronaut on the cusp of Earth’s outer atmosphere, but it’s not really science fiction because the technology is basically arbitrary. Of course the other, equally valid, argument is that something can be SF even if it does not involve the hard sciences—for example if it’s about the soft sciences. I forget who said this (might’ve been P. Schuyler Miller), who argued Theodore Sturgeon’s novel Some of Your Blood still counts as SF, depite scoring zero in the area of technology, because it’s still a novel about a soft science—namely psychology. “Project Nursemaid” is certainly more about psychology, a soft science, than it is about the hard-nosed business of raising a group of people on the moon. What type of woman would willingly give up her baby, and what type of person would be looking for such a woman in the first place? This novella brings up some topics which would’ve been rarely discussed, if not taboo outright, in genre SF at the time, such as abortion and women having sex out of wedlock, and we even get a reference to masturbation, if only in the metaphorical sense.
(Little side note, but I found it amusing that Merril set her story in some alternate timeline where the UN was actually useful, but did not predict Alaska soon becoming a US state. It had been a territory for decades but would not join the Union until 1959.)
Speaking of stuff that would’ve been unusual for ’50s genre SF, we have Tom, who in the hands of a Robert Heinlein or Isaac Asimov would’ve been a cold, chauvinistic, reason-oriented man who would only do “what needs to be done.” This story would’ve been fundamentally different had it been written by someone preoccupied with the logistics of the project itself, but to its advantage Merril was not. Tom gets to know some of the women he interview, and even has romantic tension with one (Ceil, a tough-minded unmarried woman barely out of high school), though the latter comes about not because there’s some romantic tension quota to meet but because it’s implied Tom is a deeply lonely person. Much is made about how women in genre SF have historically drawn the short stick, being often written without interiority or much of a sense of agency; but just as important is that the men in genre SF, especially in the early decades, often lacked interiority as well. Tom, unlike most of the male leads in other stories of the time, has a rich inner life, with palpable internal conflict. This richness of Tom’s character remains something to admire, even when “Project Nursemaid” (as it does sometimes) becomes nothing but people talking.
There Be Spoilers Here
(This is the part where I would be discussing late-game plot developments, but for one, I feel like roadkill and can barely bring myself to type these words; and another is that this novella has a rather amorphous plot structure. I’m afraid you’ll just have to use your imagination for this part and come up with my possible response, assuming you’ve already read this story. I actually considered skipping this review altogether but I figure I at least owe you an impression of what I took away from this story.)
A Step Farther Out
I was surprised by how little I had to say about this one. You can blame it on the illness, but also it did take me four days to get through “Project Nursemaid,” by the end of which I was… tired. There’s some fun with realistic speculation on moon colonization, plus Tom being kind of a unique male protagonist in genre SF at the time, but this is still seventy pages of mostly people talking in rooms. I can get invested in people talking in rooms under the right circumstances, and with enough zeal on the writer’s part, but there are chunks where “Project Nursemaid” spins its wheels more than anything. No doubt I’ll look back on this review and feel bad about it, and give Merril a more fair shot, but be aware this was about the best I could do whilst sick for the better part of a week now. Apologies.
See you next time.
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Things Beyond: January 2024

(Cover by Ron Walotsky. F&SF, February 1976.) Happy New Year, ya screwheads. I said last month I would be taking a year off from covering serials, which means the field has very much opened up for tackling short fiction. The schedule I keep has changed in a sense, except not really; the only difference is that the spots that would normally be held for serial installments are now for short stories. So we’re looking at six or seven short stories a month, which if you ask me is for the best. There are so many short stories across the long history of the biz that I couldn’t stay content with only three or four a month. Think about how much ground there is to cover. Thus we have two novellas and seven short stories for this month, with as many authors being pulled.
There is one other thing I wanna mention, since it will be affecting what I cover for this year. As you know, The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction is celebrating its 75th anniversary; it had premiered way back in 1949, and was initially called The Magazine of Fantasy. F&SF is such a prestigious outlet, with such a long history and with so much good material gathered in its pages over the decades, that a year-long tribute is in order. The question I then had tumbling around in my head was: How do I go about this? The solution I came to was twofold: first, as with last year, I’ll be covering all short stories in March, July, and October, only this time it will be all fiction from F&SF‘s pages; and the second is that outside of those months I’ll be covering two pieces (a short story and novella, or two of either) from F&SF each month. For example, you may notice we have two novellas from F&SF for January, which I think is a fine idea.
How March, July, and October will work is that I’ll be covering the first thirty years of F&SF across these months, so one decade for each. I’ll be grabbing stories from the ’50s, ’60s, and ’70s respectively, with the ’70s—falling on October—leaning more towards spooky stuff. F&SF‘s history is so rich that I won’t be able to give an adequate impression of its contents across 75 years, even with the methods I’ve created.
Lastly, in more solemn news, I’ll be reviewing works this month by some notable authors who sadly passed away recently. Michael F. Flynn died in September last year; Michael Bishop died in November; and David Drake died only last month. I’ve tackled Drake before, but while I wasn’t exactly a fan of “Time Safari” I did say I was curious to read more of his work. These are writers who are well-respected in the community and whom sadly I had read very little of when they were alive. If we’re to do right by the dead then we can’t afford to forget them.
For the novellas:
- “Project Nursemaid” by Judith Merril. From the October 1955 issue of The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction. She became known as an important critic and editor, but she started out as a member of the Futurians. Her story “That Only a Mother” is probably one of the most frequently reprinted classic SF stories, to the point that it’s now a little overexposed. I have to admit that aside from being force-fed “That Only a Mother” across multiple anthologies I’ve not read any of Merril’s other fiction, but I’m about to correct that!
- “The Samurai and the Willows” by Michael Bishop. From the February 1976 issue of The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction. Placed first in that year’s Locus poll for Best Novella. Speaking of writers I’ve been meaning to read more of, Bishop’s been on my radar for a minute now, but prior to his death I had only read a couple of his short stories. As with some other works of his, Bishop would revise “The Samurai and the Willows” extensively many years after the fact, but we’re reading it as it had originally appeared in F&SF.
For the short stories:
- “Inertia” by Nancy Kress. From the January 1990 issue of Analog Science Fiction. I’ve covered Kress before, and while it’s always tempting to go for one of her novellas (given her fondness for that mode), I opted for something different—both in length and where the story was published. Kress has been a regular at Asimov’s for years, but “Inertia” is a rare appearance from her in Analog.
- “Wall of Crystal, Eye of Night” by Algis Budrys. From the December 1961 issue of Galaxy Science Fiction. In some ways diametrically opposed to Judith Merril as a critic, and with as vicious an intellect, Budrys started as one of ’50s SF’s most promising writers. After a decade of heated activity he would turn away from fiction for the most part to focus on criticism and editing.
- “Apartness” by Vernor Vinge. From the June 1965 issue of New Worlds. Vinge is one of the most important living SF writers, although sadly he retired from writing fiction about a decade ago. Despite being in some ways a prototypical Analog-type writer, Vinge made his debut in the Moorcock-run New Worlds with this story here. He would’ve been all of 19 years old when he wrote “Apartness.”
- “House of Dreams” by Michael F. Flynn. From the October-November 1997 issue of Asimov’s Science Fiction. Theodore Sturgeon Memorial Award winner. I actually live one town over from Flynn, but sadly we never got to meet. “House of Dreams” is a rare case of Flynn appearing outside of Analog, and despite the Sturgeon win it has apparently never been reprinted in English, which is weird.
- “The Valley Was Still” by Manly Wade Wellman. From the August 1939 issue of Weird Tales. Wellman started out during the Gernsback years, and was one of the few SFF authors of that era to maintain his street cred after Campbell took over Astounding—if only because he was more of a fantasy writer. I picked this one for the nerdy reason that it became the basis for a Twilight Zone episode.
- “The Automatic Rifleman” by David Drake. From the Fall 1980 issue of Destinies. (Yes I’m still counting Destinies and its ilk as magazines.) David Drake was one of the codifying writers of military SF, but his range was a lot wider than that, having also written sword-and-sorcery fantasy and horror, on top of work that’s not so easy to classify. The following story seems to be an exercise in terror.
- “The Agony of the Leaves” by Evelyn E. Smith. From the July 1954 issue of Beyond Fantasy Fiction. I only discovered this one as part of a very recent SF anthology edited by a certain colleague, and I’m pretty sure it’s not SF. As with too many female SFF writers in the ’50s, Smith moved away from the short fiction market once new avenues opened up; after 1960 she mostly stuck to novels.
And that’s it.
Won’t you read with me?
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Complete Novel Review: Lest Darkness Fall by L. Sprague de Camp

(Cover by Edd Cartier. Unknown, December 1939.) Who Goes There?
L. Sprague de Camp made his debut in 1937, and would remain more or less active until his death in 2000, although he would lean much more towards fantasy than SF after 1960. De Camp technically debuted before John W. Campbell’s takeover of Astounding, but he quickly became one of Campbell’s court jesters, his humor being just innuendo-laden enough but more often relying on deadpan and slapstick delivery. But it was with Unknown, Astounding‘s fantasy sister magazine, that we saw much of de Camp’s best early work, both solo and in collaboration with Fletchet Pratt. It’s not surprising that in The Best of L. Sprague de Camp a solid portion of the stories included are from Unknown, despite that magazine only lasting a few years. De Camp would go on hiatus during America’s involvement in World War II, and he would not return to writing in earnest until around 1950. He’s probably most known today for his helping in raising awareness of Robert E. Howard’s work, if also his meddling in said work. The two would’ve been close contemporaries, had Howard lived.
Lest Darkness Fall was de Camp’s first solo novel (he had already written None But Lucifer with H. L. Gold), and it’s often considered his best. It was published in Unknown as a solid 50,000-word novel, which is why I’m confused by Wikipedia calling it the “short story version.” De Camp must’ve expanded it for book publication in 1941, but not by much, and he revised it for a 1949 reprint. This is often considered an SF novel, which makes its inclusion in Unknown a bit strange, but I do have a couple theories as to why it’s here: the first is the setting, which is pre-medieval and thus almost reads like low fantasy; the second is that Unknown had a policy of sometimes printing whole novels while Astounding did not, and Campbell maybe couldn’t fit Lest Darkness Fall in as a serial in the latter, for indeed it would’ve been too long to run in one piece.
Placing Coordinates
First published in the December 1939 issue of Unknown, which is on the Archive. You can also read the 1949 revision here. Lest Darkness Fall ran as a five-part serial in Galaxy’s Edge, presumably based on the 1949 version. It’s also been bundled in a Gollancz SF Gateway Omnibus with Rogue Queen and The Tritonian Ring. It’s also been bundled with a couple sequels by other hands as Lest Darkness Fall and Related Stories. In other words, this is not exactly a hard novel to find, and because it’s short by modern standards it’s often been packaged with other things.
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I have some notes:
- De Camp does not waste time here, at least with getting us to 6th century Rome. Martin Padway is an archeologist and a bit of a workaholic who’s currently staying in 1930s Rome. (We get a mention of the country being run by Mussolini’s fascists, but Padway doesn’t seem to feel anything strongly about fascism, and anyway it’s not dwelt on.) Padway is also a divorcee; his wife left him because after “one taste of living in a tent and watching her husband mutter over the inscriptions on potsherds” she realized being an archeologist’s wife was not in the cards for her. This is about all we learn about Padway before a bolt of lightning sends him back to 535 CE. We’re not given even the ghost of an explanation for how a lightning strike could do this and it’s obvious that de Camp is not interested in the how of getting his hapless anti-hero to where he wants him to be.
- The line of plausibility is a fine one to walk, and I would say de Camp succeeds so long as one does not go deliberately looking for holes. Of course some convenience is at play. It’s convenient that Padway is an archeologist and, by extension, a kind of historian, not to mention he seems to have read Gibbon’s The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire. De Camp himself admits in the introduction he took some inspiration from Robert Graves’s historical novels (incidentally I just finished I, Claudius), although Padway himself doesn’t mention Graves. This is a curious comparison, because the idea of making history entertaining was still a new concept then—not history as told in Hollywood productions but well-researched, fact-based history. With that said, while you do get some context within the novel, de Camp makes assumptions about the reader’s knowledge that probably aren’t valid anymore.
- There is one thing that strains one’s suspension of disbelief, which is the language barrier. Italians in 535 CE spoke Latin, and Padway just so happens to know elementary-level Latin despite being a Congregationalist and not a Catholic; to de Camp’s credit he does acknowledge that language, even one as antiquated as Latin, changes over time, and so Padway talks with a heavy accent which other characters are quick to point out. Cleverly Padway adopts the more Latin-sounding name “Martinus Paduei” to fit in with the locals. Not sure why Padway wasn’t written as a Catholic (one who is estranged from his wife), since in the pre-Vatican II days it would’ve been perfectly sensible for a Catholic to know his Latin. Then again, Padway is mostly apolitical and unconcerned with religious matters, which is true of a lot of Protestants. De Camp is playfully ribbing some people here, but he’s not trying to make any kind of serious statement; this is, ultimately, an unserious novel.
- So, the context: Rome in 535 CE is long past the days of Augustus, to put it lightly. The Italians have accepted Christianity for a couple centuries now, no longer looking to feed infidels to the lions, but the Roman Empire is now fractured. The western Italian-Gothic coalition is about to enter war with the Eastern Roman Empire, and the ensuing war will help bring about the Middle Ages, shrouding Europe “in darkness, from a scientific and technological aspect, for nearly a thousand years.” Padway knows that life in Rome is on the downslide and about to get much worse, but the people around him are blissfully ignorant of this. Surprisingly the idea of somehow returning to his own time doesn’t much occur to him; rather he quickly becomes concerned with surviving in a Rome that is about to get totally butt-fucked by war, and he also wonders if history can be changed enough to create an alternate future.
- If you read anything about Lest Darkness Fall in advance then you know it’s alternate history novel, and indeed it doesn’t take long for Padway to introduce some changes that will have long-term consequences—some of which will not be to his advantage. Inventing the printing press and starting one’s own newspaper (freedom of the press and all that) in what amounts to a police state can land one in jail, as it turns out. Padway starts out “small,” teaching a local banker double-entry accounting, inventing the printing press, eventually starting the world’s firs telegraph line—you know how it is. Like I said, convenience plays a not-inconsiderable part here, although Padway is not a demigod; he can’t do everything himself. He gets arrested enough times that it becomes a sort of running gag. I would still argue Padway is too much of what Heinlein would call “the competent man,” and I have to wonder what would’ve happened if someone less skilled had been thrown back to Rome right before the Middle Ages; admittedly they would probably last all of three days.
- As with Graves’s historical novels, de Camp throws some real-life figures into the mix, although due to the relative obscurity of the time period there’s nobody the reader is likely to recognize right away. I hope you know who Justinian is. And let’s not forget Thiudahad, king of the Italians and Goths who eventually succumbs to what is probably dementia or some other neurological disease; he’s pretty funny. The funniest might be Mathasuentha, princess and wife to whomever would succeed Thiudahad once he becomes unfit for the throne—and, much to Padway’s horror, a bloodthirsty opportunist. Padway considers romancing Mathasuentha until she reveals herself to be a bit of what we would call a yandere. “You wouldn’t exactly describe her as a ‘sweet’ girl,” the narrator tells us. Better to marry her off to Urias, who after all is a war hero and who can probably deal with her shenanigans. Padway himself remains a bachelor to the end, at least in the magazine version.
- How good you think Lest Darkness Fall is will depend on how funny you think it is, because it is very much a novel filled with what we humans would call “jokes.” De Camp isn’t always funny, and I think his cynical brand of conservatism (almost like a distant precursor to South Park-type humor) holds him back from being a more serious writer, but when he’s on the ball he can elicit some chuckles. The novel becomes less funny as it pivots more towards alternate history warfare (this is when Padway gains enough clout to basically do Thiudahad’s job for him), but we’re assured that despite what the title suggests, nothing too dark will happen. This is largely because even as Padway’s situation becomes more serious, both Padway and the third-person narrator remain as deadpan as ever. At one point Padway ponders the evils of slavery and how he should probably do something about it, but it reads like someone writing down stuff they ought to buy as the grocery store. Like I said, not a very serious novel.
- I can see why de Camp would add a few thousand words onto the novel for book publication, but if anything he should’ve expanded it even further. Lest Darkness Fall, for how much ground it’s covering, is too short; the magazine version is about 50,000 words long and it could easily be twice that length. I know this is weird coming from me, as someone who tends to like short novels, but consider that I, Claudius is 450 pages long and still omly makes up the first half of a larger narrative. There are characters who brim with personality but barely get any screentime because this novel is a train and the train will not stop. SFF novels prior to the ‘60s often didn’t go past 300 pages, and this is sometimes a bad thing because some narratives need more space to reach their full potential. Lest Darkness Fall feels like the abridged version of a complete novel which sadly does not exist.
There Be Spoilers Here
Darkness does not fall.
A Step Farther Out
The “modern man sent to the distant past” plot type has been done many times since Lest Darkness Fall, and needless to say some authors have built on the foundation de Camp laid down. There’s a lot of room for navel-gazing with this premise and de Camp keeps that to a minimum, for better or worse. If this novel succeeds (and it is a succeess for what it is), it’s because de Camp’s fascination with the foibles of ancient history is infectious, helped by the fact that this is a perfectly balanced, well-oiled machine of a novel. We’re given just enough context in what was then the modern day before being hit with the time-travel lightning. Padway is a bit of a scoundrel, but he’s not unlikable enough to make us always following him a chore; to make him a total asshole would’ve been fatal for the novel. There’s some commentary on the gap in values between Italy circa 535 CE and 20th century America, but not enough to give one the impression that de Camp is trying to make one of those pesky political statements. If this sounds like a cynical assessment of the novel, that’s because it’s a cynical novel.
What made Lest Darkness Fall inspirational for a couple generations of SFF writers is that it’s history made entertaining; one might even call it an early example of “edutainment” in genre literature. Admittely you may wanna do some extra reading on the twilight years of the Roman Empire, since de Camp assumes you’re a well-educated person who already know enough going in; this might’ve been true in 1939, but needless to say our priorities with history have changed drastically since then. It’s a genuinely funny novel, if also slight in terms of emotional and thematic content. Had I read this, say, five to ten years earlier, I probably would’ve loved it; but I also think it has since been outshined by its own progeny.
See you next time.
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Novella Review: “All Seated on the Ground” by Connie Willis

(Cover by Michael Carroll. Asimov’s, December 2007.) Who Goes There?
It’s the holidays, Santa Claus is coming to town, Christmas cheer, all that. But before I pay that jolly son of a bitch a visit I’ve got some work to do, which in this case is to write about a seasonally appropriate story from perhaps the jolliest author currently working in the biz. Connie Willis made her debut back in the ’70s (which is wild, because I suspect people think of her as one of the fresh new talents of the ’80s), and has since collected Hugo awards like they’re Infinity stones. She currently holds the record for most Hugo wins for Best Novella (with “All Seated on the Ground” being the fourth and most recent), and I do love me ssome novellas. Willis has basically two modes: serious and comical. With serious Willis you get Doomsday Book and “The Last of the Winnebagos”; with comical Willis you get “Even the Queen” and today’s story, which is a Christmas comedy.
Placing Coordinates
First published in the December (appropriate) 2007 issue of Asimov’s Science Fiction, which is on the Archive. It was published pretty much simultaneously with a chapbook release from Subterranean Press, although given the nature of magazine publication the version in Asimov’s would’ve been available first. Despite the Hugo win it has never been anthologized. It was collected in The Best of Connie Willis and later A Lot Like Christmas, which as you can guess collects Willis’s Christmas stories.
Enhancing Image
In first contact stories the aliens might land in Washington, DC, or in some crop field in the Midwest; in this case they landed in Denver. The good news is that the Altairi are not hostile, but the bad news is they’re not talkative either, opting, in fact, to not say anything at all. A few meeting-the-aliens commissions are formed but fall through, which is where Meg, our narrator and protagonist, comes in. Meg is a small-time journalist who caught the government’s attention by having writing about aliens before, which doesn’t mean as much as they think it does, as she admits, “I’d also written columns on tourists, driving-with-cellphones, the traffic on I-70, the difficulty of finding any nice men to date, and my Aunt Judith.” That last part will figure majorly into the plot. Also on the commission are Dr. Morthman, “who as far as I could see, wasn’t an expert in anything,” and Reverend Thresher, your stereotypical Evangelical priest who (I don’t think I’m spoiling here) will be the story’s closest thing to a villain.
The Altairi aren’t communicative, but at least they don’t resist being driven around Colorado, to see some of humanity’s cultural touchstones—including the shopping mall. It’s the holidays, and it’s been long enough since the aliens came down that people in the mall don’t instantly swarm them. We’re talking about a group of six Altairi, none of whom say anything, the only method of communication they’re keen on being a constant and dismaying glare that, incidentally, is a look that reminds Meg of her aunt. The Altairi can be pushed around and herded, but they can’t be told to do anything, which is what makes what happens next pretty unusual. For reasons not known at first, since nobody had been observing them closely, the Altairi sit down in the middle of the mall; they had never been seen to sit down before, in the weeks they’ve been watched. There are shoppers, there’s Muzak on the intercom, and a group of carolers led by one Calvin Ledbetter. This is where we’re introduced to the central conflict of the story, or rather than central question: What made the Altairi sit down?
The question of what made the Altairi sit down all in unison is not as easy to answer as it may seem at firt, although (not to toot my own horn) I basically guessed the answer well in advance. “All Seated on the Ground” is a “problem” story in the classic Analog sense, which makes me think that, if not for the fact that I don’t think Willis ever sold to Analog (I could be wrong), this story could’ve fit better there than in Asimov’s. Not really a criticism, but I wanted to get out of the way just how dated this story is—not in its message or politics, but in how you could guess, without looking at the issue date, when it was published just from the cultural references. We get references to Paris Hilton, Men in Black II (not even the first movie), and this unbearably pungent stench of Bush-era humor. Comedy during the Bush years was like gazing into the abyss. Thresher himself is a caricature of a conservative clergyman, not that those people aren’t already deeply unserious. It’s all very tongue-in-cheek. I know Willis herself is a practicing Christian who really gets into the spirit of the holidays, so of course the commentary on religious intolerance is more playful ribbing than anything. Don’t expect any serious points from this if what I’m saying.
This is a story about Christmas, and more specifically about Christmas music; it’s about caroling and the classics. Again, not really a criticism, but it’s telling by what’s cited that there haven’t been any songs added to the Christmas music “canon” since this story was published—so 16 years now. I think the most recent song cited here is Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas Is You,” which itself is older than me. But this is a story that has a lot of fun picking apart the lyrics of old Christmas songs, seeing what makes them tick, and seeing what makes the Altairi sit down in universion; hell, if that’s even the only command they’re susceptible to via lyrics. Of course it can’t just be the lyrics, as Meg says; it could be “the voices singing them,” “the particular configuration of notes,” “the rhythm,” and/or “the frequencies of the notes.” It’s a problem or puzzle, depending on your viewpoint. Running parallel to the question of what the Altairi respond to is the budding romance between Meg and Calvin, which I’m not getting into other than a) to acknowledge it exists, and b) to point out that people in the cartoon world of the story seem very nosy about other people’s relationship status, because Our Heroes™ get asked repeatedly.
How much you enjoy “All Seated on the Ground” will depend on two things: on how much you care for Christmastime festivities (I don’t much), and on whether or not you find Willis’s humor to be more hit than miss. After having read some of Willis’s comedic fiction (To Say Nothing of the Dog, “Time Out,” “Blued Moon,” “Even the Queen,” and now this) I’ve come to find, via scientific analysis, that I don’t find her that funny. This is not a slight against Willis as a person, obviously; humor is maybe the only thing that rivals sexual attraction in terms of sheer subjectivity. I can hardly rationalize a joke I like or dislike any more than I can rationalize my immense attraction to Legoshi from Beastars. What’s more damning in the case of “All Seated on the Ground” is that while Willis does explore (as a good SF writer should) the implications of the question she poses, said question is not fit to sustain a work of novella length, for my money. I don’t expect there to be three subplots tag-teaming for wordage here, as a novella is short enough that you can have one plotline through the whole thing, but the plot here—really a driving question—could be more succinct about finding its answer. It could also be that this story is a bit constipated because Willis thought it necessary to add some third-act tension on top of the driving question, which is how we get such an overlong and misshapen thing.
There Be Spoilers Here
Thresher, who through misunderstanding and his own idiocy thinks the Altairi have become born-again Christians, goes on a broadcasted crusade that gets a whole lot of unwanted attention. It’s this idiocy that seems to prompt the Altairi to leave Earth (it’s later said that they were unsure if humans were sentient, in what must’ve been a lame joke even in 2007), only narrowly stopped because Meg and Calvin are able to solve the puzzle in time. This is done because, of all things, Meg is able to remember why her grumpy aunt always gave her the same look the Altairi had been giving for months on end. (I wanna point out that about nine months pass over the course of the story, but despite telling us this Willis does not show it in the writing itself, such that the time frame feels a lot more compressed than it is. Meg and Calvin’s relationship forms over the course of months, but you would think they fell for each other almost overnight without compressed the chain of events feels.) To give Willis some credit she does do a good job of making us wanna put a muzzle on Thresher, although it’s more that we’re supposed to think him a fool than to actually hate him; making him too despicable would not be very Christmas-y I suppose. I hate this man, but then I also think homophobes can eat shit.
Predicably we get a happy ending.
I wanna talk about something being “dated” some more. I’ve been thinking that the criterion for what makes a work of SF “modern” has become increasingly fuzzy, as if we’re approaching a singularity. Consider that a random genre SF story published in 1965 probably could not have gotten published in 1945 without substantial tinkering, namely changing the prose style and subject matter. Even a deliberately retrograde piece like Roger Zelazny’s “The Door of His Face, the Lamps of His Mouth” probably could not have seen print in 1945 without basically removing all the Zelazny-isms—in other words the thing which makes that story special. Conversely, it’s comparatively hard to find a genre SF story published in 2007 that, with few to no changes, could not have been printed in 1987. Change the pop culture references and a few technology points, like mentions of cell phones that can record video, and you could’ve printed “All Seated on the Ground” in 1987; incidentially this was another hyper-conservative era in American history. 2007 was not that long ago, and yet when reading Willis’s story I felt like I had traveled back considerably farther in time. I’ve actually read all the fiction Hugo winners from that year and while I was not keen on Chabon’s novel, the Willis piece impresses me less.
A Step Farther Out
Despite being a 23,000-word story I couldn’t find too much to say about this one. I think one sign of a great novella is that you get a great deal to chew on in a small amount of wordage, and by that metric “All Seated on the Ground” is definitely not one of the greats. Mind you, its slightness is by design, but I also think it was totally possible for Willis to cut it down to a long novelette. I’m also not exactly a fan of her sense of humor. It’s entertaining in fits and starts, but a joke was just as likely to make me cringe as make me chuckle; there’s a real doozy of a joke towards the end that made me wanna throw my virtual copy of the magazine at a wall. This is one of those cases where the stereotype that Hugo voters are frivolous applies, because I’m not surprised it was popular with readers, but also not surprised it didn’t get a Nebula nod, nor surprised that it’s never been anthologized.
See you next time.
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The Observatory: Godzilla Minus One Reminds Us Why Godzilla Is Cinema’s Greatest Monster

(From Godzilla Minus One, 2023.) WARNING: This is not, strictly speaking, a review, but it does discuss major spoilers for Godzilla Minus One, including the ending.
When Godzilla Minus One came to American theaters in late November, Toho had initially given it a one-week wide theatrical run, which basically meant that it was playing in a theater near you, but time was VERY limited. Strong box office numbers (for a non-English movie) and even stronger word of mouth have caused Toho to change their mind, and as of December 15 (more than a week after it was supposed to leave) the movie is being put in even more theaters. I know quite a few people who’ve seen it and reception has been very positive across the board. I personally think it’s the best entry in the series since the 1954 film, which means it’s the best Godzilla movie in nearly seventy years. Aside from it being just a great film, it implicitly makes the argument that Godzilla, despite his vintage and the fact that he’s been in a good deal of schlock, is still relevant.
There’s probably not a character in film history who has persisted to the same degree as Godzilla, nor one who has worn as many hats. Sure, you could say King Kong was famous back then (incidentally Kong’s 90th anniversary is this year) and remains famous now, but Kong as a film presence has only been around in little blips, getting a movie every once in a blue moon. And why not? How much can you do with an abnormally large ape? Then again, how much can you do with a giant radioactive dinosaur? This is what makes Godzilla so perplexing: his versatility. Let’s compare kaiju. Kong (at least the movies I’ve seen him in) is always a violent but ultimately tragic creature who has a touch of the human about him. Mothra is always a stand-in for Nature (capitalized), a perpetual force for good, and one of Earth’s guardians. King Ghidorah is (with one notable exception) always a tyrannical monster who came down from the stars in a ball of lightning and doom. These are monsters with multiple movies under their belts, spread across decades and realized by a variety of creative voices.
Godzilla started out as a villain, essentially, but at the same time a victim of the thing which gave him his atomic breath. The first Godzilla film was an allegory of post-war trauma, released just under a decade after the atomic bombs had been dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, not to mention the firebombing of Tokyo. Godzilla decimates a city, but he is also scarred by nuclear test bombings in the Pacific ocean and ultimately killed by a weapon of mass destruction at least as terrible as the A-bomb. Thing is, that’s not the only role he was fit for. There are quite a few entries in the series where Godzilla is a villain, but there are also cases where he plays a heroic or neutral role. In Invasion of Astro-Monster he and Rodan are brought in to stop King Ghidorah, who is clearly the bigger threat. In Son of Godzilla he’s a loving (if stern) father (never mind who the mother could be). In Godzilla vs. Hedorah he’s a Captain Planet-like figure who fights what amounts to a giant walking piece of shit. In All Monsters Attack he’s the figment of a child’s imagination; the child does not fear Godzilla but, evidently having seen Son of Godzilla, looks up to him as a role model.
Even when Godzilla plays the villain it’s often not for the same purpose. In Mothra vs. Godzilla he’s the villain because he just wants to be an asshole. In Godzilla, Mothra and King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All-Out Attack (rolls off the tongue, doesn’t it) he’s the specter of imperial Japanese militarism. In The Return of Godzilla he inadvertently unites the US and Soviet Union during one of the Cold War’s hot spots. In the 1954 film, Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah, and most recently Minus One he’s a victim as much as he is a perpetrator; though he’s ultimately still a monster that must be stopped, there’s something deeply tragic about him in these movies. In Minus One he’s basically a deranged animal. At the beginning of the film, set in the final months of World War II, he’s a dinosaur—unusually large and not based on any real species, but also not radioactive. A nuclear bomb being dropped in the Pacific, however, transforms Godzilla into something else. Not only does he grow to the size of a building but he now has his atomic breath, which in this movie launches what may as well be mini-nukes. Thing is, Godzilla is hurt by his own power; if not for his newfound fast-regeneration ability his atomic breath would surely kill him.
(You may be wondering why I haven’t mentioned Shin Godzilla, which after all was the last live-action Japanese entry in the series before Minus One. Well, I haven’t seen it yet; in fact it’s the only live-action Godzilla movie I’ve yet to see. I’ll get to it eventually, but don’t underestimate my capacity to spite Hideaki Anno fans. Anyway…)
Much has been made of the fact that the human narrative in Minus One is largely what it owes its success to. This is not strictly an unusual occurrence in the series; people who act like this is the first time a Godzilla movie has had a compelling human narrative since the 1954 film are in for a rude awakening. True, some of these movies have dull human scenes, but some also have a good deal of human interest and emotional depth. Godzilla vs. Biollante and Giant Monsters All-Out Attack come to mind immediately. It’s not that the human narrative in Minus One is compelling (although it is) so much as that Godzilla’s function as a character and symbol works in tandem with the plot he’s an accessory to. Yes, the film looks great (especially given it was apparently made on an EVEN LOWER budget than the alleged $15 million people have claimed), but it succeeds as a movie because it abides Theodore Sturgeon’s criteria for a good science fiction story: it’s a story with human problems and a human solution but with a science-fictional element that’s necessary for the story to work.
Consider: The story revolves around Koichi, who at the outset is a kamikaze pilot, meaning he is expected to crash his plane into the enemy. The Zero, the Japanese fighter plane during the war, did not have an eject button. While stationed on Odo Island (harking to the island of the same name in the 1954 film), Koichi and the engineers stationed there are terrorized one night by a hulking dinosaur. Koichi has the chance to at least hurt Godzilla with his plane’s guns, but his nerves buckle and he watches as the monster turns the camp to ruins, leaving only one of the engineers alive. Koichi survives the war, but as a kamikaze pilot who didn’t kill himself he is a walking disgrace, never mind he evidentally suffers from PTSD. His parents died during the war. Tokyo has become in parts a bombed-out slum. Japan is now under American occupation. Aside from the first scene this could still be a grounded drama about found family, what with Koichi helping raise a child with a young woman named Noriko (the child is not hers, but rather is implied to be a war orphan), but Our Hero™ needs something extra to make him realize his life still has value.
We would still have a movie here without Godzilla in it, but it would be a fundamentally different movie then, and probably not as exceptional. Godzilla is the destroyer here, but he’s also (not by his intention, of course) a redeemer, giving a bunch of war veterans a second chance—an opportunity for them to do right by humanity after having fought for a government that did not put much stock in human life. It’s a rather overt anti-government and anti-militarism message, and make no mistake, Minus One is a melodrama whose emotions are all in primary colors. What makes it work, though, is that Godzilla’s presence not only supports the film’s thesis but feeds into Koichi’s character arc; without Godzilla there to put Koichi’s faith in himself to the test the climax would not be as profound. And yes it helps that the scenes of kaiju action are handled with a sure touch. The sequence where Godzilla rampages through the Ginza district of Tokyo, leading to what we think is Noriko’s death, is one of the standout moments in blockbuster filmmaking from recent years. It’s moving, though, partly because of the spectacle but also the fact that Godzilla, in his current state, is the product of militarism—a walking weapon of mass destruction.
Director/writer Takashi Yamazaki has been pretty upfront about a) having wanted to make a Godzilla movie for a minute now, and b) what inspired him when making Minus One. Sure, it’s a sort of Fruedian return-to-the-womb moment for the series. Godzilla munching on a train during the Ginza rampage very much harks back to the 1954 movie. But this is not even the first time the series has gone back to its roots. The Return of Godzilla, Godzilla 2000, and Shin Godzilla are, at least on paper, back-to-basics movies, as is Minus One. When the 1954 film hit theaters Japan was only two years out of the American occupation; the memories of abject horror from the war were still fresh in the minds of those who saw that film. Minus One returns to the same well but nearly seventy years removed and tweaking things to great effect, proving that somehow, after all the hats he’s put on over the years, the film world still needs Godzilla. Some will take issue with this movie’s ending, which is a sequel hook, but not only would I like a sequel but I think that in terms of this film’s placement in the series it makes sense. While Godzilla seems to have been defeated, his regenerating and still-beating heart in the final shot tells us the end (thankfully) is not yet.




